Edward Cullen AKA Dumbass
by LizzyCullenxx
Summary: Bella Swan is single, at her dad's work gala and meets a new friend Alice. Alice tells her that her brother brought a slut as his date, and when Bella meets her brother, Edward, she does not know he is Alice's brother until they play the name game.


**Bella POV **

I leaned against the wall of the big room with my drink in my hands. I took a deep breath and smiled as I watched my parents dance across the dance floor with big smiles on their faces. My mother giggling and my dad chuckling; they looked happy. I was happy for them.

"Nothing like being in love" A girl sighed next to me. I looked up and the girl reminded me of Tinkerbelle. She had ink black short hair, it spiked at the ends, looking very cute, and she was around five foot three, five foot four. Well, in heels at least. Her gown was gorgeous. It was a satin grey color, and it was floor length, form fitting strapless down. It was studded and had black gems at the top of the bodice, and the sequins flared out into a lined flower design and it was a black sequins. I loved it. It was so pretty. She also looked gorgeous in it. She had a light weight smoky eye, with a rosy pink lip gloss.

"I know. My parents are finally in love again" I smiled at her. She smiled back and held out her hand.

"I'm Alice Cullen, nice to meet you" She smiled. I shook her small hand and nodded.

"Bella Swan. I guess our Dads are pretty good friends huh?" I asked. She nodded. Her Dad was Carlisle Cullen, the chief of medicine in Forks' hospital. My dad was good friends with him.

"Yes, they are. My dad speaks very highly of your father" She said. I nodded. Charlie talked very highly about Carlisle and Esme.

"As does mine. You look gorgeous tonight. I love your dress" I said. She smiled nodded and leaned against the wall next to me.

"Thank you, you're sweet." She giggled. I nodded and smiled; again.

"So, are you here with a date?" I asked curiously. Her eyes brightened as a big bright smile spread across her face. I giggled and took that as a smile.

"Who is he?" I asked. She sighed dreamily.

"Jasper Hale. He and his sister Rosalie are on their way here. Their dad is an assistant to Carlisle. They sort of share the same position, but they didn't. That's how I met Jasper and Rose" she smiled. I nodded. I didn't know what I felt like to be in love. In a relationship, yes, but not to love someone, or to sigh dreamily when someone brought that special person up. Though I was happy for Alice, I was slightly jealous.

"I'm happy for you. Jasper seems like a great guy, if he can make you feel this special" I told her with a soft smile.

"Thank you. What about you? Any man in your life?" She asked. I shook my head. Sadly, that was a negative ghost rider.

"No, I don't have a man in my life" I sighed. She smiled sympathetically and rubbed my forearm comfortingly. It was surprisingly so.

"It's ok. You'll find him one day" She said smiling with hope. I nodded and downed my drink. Hopefully.

"I will." I said confidently.

"So, where are your brothers my dad speaks to much about?" I asked. She laughed. I only knew she had two older brothers, which was it.

"Emmett is at the food table. Of course. And the other one we'll call him Dumbass, is with his slut. I mean this is a gala, and we're not supposed to look slutty. Your dress is perfect because it's not too much cleavage and not too much leg. But she…is the only one wearing a short dress. It looks like a club dress, and she wanted to grind with Edward. Does she see this is a nice gala, where girls spend time getting ready, and we dance properly? Ugh, I can't stand her. She makes my head numb" She said and stuck out her nose. I giggled.

"Where is she now?" I asked softly. Alice rolled her eyes. I could see she didn't like this girl her brother brought as his date. I don't blame her; if I had a brother who brought a cheap ass slut as his date I'd be pissed off too. Not only does it make my family and brother look bad, it makes the girl think that she has a chance to be with him.

"Oh, Victoria? She got bored, and asked to go home. The retard even gave in and drove her home, leaving the gala, and is coming back now. Ugh. I can't believe her. I can't believe him! Mom and Dad are so pissed that she even came. He was supposed to take our cousin Tanya, because we haven't seen her in a while, and she was spending the weekend with us, but no! He's having her fly in separately in two days. Tanya and Edward are best friends; she was hurt when she never got the call if she wanted to go with Edward. As family of course. But I can't believe him. He's the one who invited her. Cheap skank" She scowled. I nodded. Cheap skank.

"I'm sorry I'm pouring this on you. I'm just so upset with my brother right now." Alice apologized. I smiled to show her it was no big deal and I waved my hand in a dismissive way.

"It's ok Alice. I don't mind. It's good to let it out" I told her. She nodded and her eyes widened at me.

"You look gorgeous!" She gaped. I chuckled nervously. A little late there aren't we Alice? I was wearing a navy blue chiffon floor length dress. It had a slit in the leg, that came a little above mid-thigh. It was a v neck, that didn't plunge too low, and had a cut on my sides in blue sequins, and gems with little crystals as well, and it was an open back. It had six strips in a star form. Three on one side, and three on the other. The bottom before it cuts off to cover by butt, was covered in sequins, gems, and crystals. It wasn't strapless, but had two wide, thin straps and I fell in love with it.

"Thank you." I chuckled again. Alice and I talked about this gala, and then I saw a beautiful blonde in a nice blue strapless dress, and she was holding the hands of a monster. Well, a pretty hot monster. She was talking to a blonde boy with a mop of curly hair. I saw Alice's eyes brighten. Ah, so this was Jasper.

"Go" I smiled She squealed, and tried to run to her boyfriend. He caught her and spun her around and kissed her on the forehead, her nose, and then her lips. Their kiss was so sweet, I had to look away, fearing I ruined a private, and personal moment.

"Bella! C'mon! Meet Jasper, Emmett, and Rose!" She smiled. I walked over and I could see their faces clearer. Rosalie had in a strapless, ice blue dress. The top was bedazzled in clear and pink crystals, and the skirt was ruffled chiffon. It was flowy, and beautiful. She had the same shoes as I had on, but hers were gold, and made completely of glitter. Her makeup was a sparkly mix of ice blue, silver, and grayish blue sparkle, and black eyeliner and mascara. Her hair was straightened, and she made me feel as if I was a piece of shit on the bottom of her shoe.

"Hi, I'm Bella" I smiled. Emmett grinned at me and made a weird face to me. I rose a brow.

"Hey Bells. I'm Emmett. This is my hot babe of a girlfriend, Rosalie, and that's the blonde bombshell Jasper, and the pixie Alice. Well, you already met her" He teased. Rose and Jasper rolled their eyes while Alice kicked Emmett in the shin.

"Asshole" She muttered. I giggled and I saw Rose looking around for someone. Her face was in another world, and her lips parted; concentrated. Jasper had the same expression as he looked over my head. Emmett was still grinning like the damn Cheshire cat.

"Where's Tanya?" She asked smiling. I could see Tanya was a favorite around her. I wanted to meet her. I wanted to see what was so great about her.

"She's not here; the dumbass brought Victoria instead" She said in an annoyed tone as she glared at the ground. Jasper's face fell and he sighed, his face fixed in a frowned expression. Rose scoffed, and scowled at the ground, and Emmett's grin dropped as he looked at the wall in disgust.

"Damn him" Rose muttered, "where's the whore and her pimp?"

"He took her home because she got bored. I can't wait to hear mom and dad yell at him in Dad's office" She giggled. Rose smiled again.

"Neither can I. You need to tell me, and tell me all about it" She giggled with Alice. Jasper looked to me in curiosity. I looked down; there was nothing on my dress.

"Where's your date Bella?" He asked. Rose looked up interested, and Alice just smiled at me.

"I don't have one. I'm single as pringle" I sighed.

"A barbecue pringle?" Emmett asked eagerly. I raised a brow and I let it drop after I got that he was teasing me.

"No" I said in an excited tone, "single as a pizza pringle" I told him. His face dropped and he sighed deeply.

"Ah, man. I really wanted a barbecue pringle" He muttered. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Babe, I'm your pringle. You're my Chex Mix" she said. What? What were we in, second grade? Besides, that made no sense.

"Alright, well Bella, I will definitely talk to you later. It's time to get this babe on the dance floor" Emmett grinned as he took Rose by the waist, laughing, and walked with her in his arms. I sighed. I wanted that. They were defiantly a different, and unique couple, but they were very in love I could tell.

"Are you going to be ok here by yourself Bella?" Alice asked, worry in her eyes. I touched her shoulder gently with a soft smile reassuring her.

"Alice I'll be fine; go have fun with Jasper" I told her softly. She sighed and nodded as she led Jasper to the dance floor. I went to the bar and looked at the bartender.

"Give me a scotch" I asked and leaned against the counter. I grabbed the glass cup full of small amounts of scotch and downed it. I liked the feeling of the burn on my throat and sighed in contentment. Why didn't I ask Jacob to be my date? Oh yeah, because he was in love with me and I was a good person why not leading him on. Poor guy.

"Like your booze?" A voice asked from next to me. I turned and saw a gorgeous guy next to me, staring at me curiously. I swallowed.

"Love my booze" I corrected. He chuckled and looked to the dance floor.

"Are you with a date?" He asked. I shook my head for the third time tonight.

"Nope, I'm here alone. Well, with my parents" I explained. He nodded. I looked to him. He had perfect bone structure, bright emerald green eyes, crazy natural bronze colored sex hair, he had on a nice black suit, a thin black tie. His pants had a thin belt, He wore his black on black vans, with dark purple colored laces. His perfect bright white straight smile. He was gorgeous. And probably taken; no one that good looking Is single. Or they're gay. I'm hoping that he's straight and single.

"You?" I asked. He shook his bronze haired head, and smiled. I finally stared at his face. His

"Newly single." He grinned. I nodded and grinned back. What a coincidence, that we were both single and at our parents gala.

"That's just great" I said and looked at him with a husky look. He got closer, and he stood very lose to me; his mouth near my ear.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked huskily. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and nodded. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. I looked over to see if I could find Alice and I saw her, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose laughing together. I smiled. They were happy.

"So, mystery man" I said as this stranger pulled me close, his hands on my waist, mine on his shoulders, "are you going to give me a name?" I asked. He smirked.

"Yes…but I want you to try and guess" He said. Was he really doing this to me? I rolled my eyes at him and looked at his face, trying to fit a name with the face.

"Um…Anthony?" I asked. He shook his head.

"My middle name. Good job. Try again, it starts with an E" He chuckled. God, this man was torturing me. I just want a damn name.

"Eric?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Evan?" No.

"Ethan?" Nope.

"Elijah?" Nah.

"Easton?" Nada.

"C'mon, I'm dying here" I said. He made a thinking face as his arms suddenly pulled my waist up, my feet doing on top of his. He swayed us, and did a few spins along with the other couples. He was good.

"I'll tell you what, if I guess your name, I'll tell you mine. If you guess mine, you tell me yours" He smiled. I nodded. That's a good compromise.

"Ok mine starts with a B" I said. He nodded.

"Bailey?" I shook me head.

"Elias?" He made a face. I took that as a no.

"Becky?" I scrunched up my face. No.

"Elliot?" He made a face.

"Brittany?" I made a face.

"Edmund?" I asked starting to lose hope. His face brightened.

"Very close. Very, very close. Ok, now Bethany?" He asked. I shook my head. Hmm, Edmund seemed to be close. Let's see. I grinned.

I was about to ask, when I heard a sharp whisper, "Bella!" they called. I turned and I saw Alice's wide eyes. Jasper looked pretty stunned himself. I blushed.

"I'll tell you later" I hissed. She got a look that looked hopeless as much as I was.

"But!" She said but I ignored her. Mystery Man was silently laughing.

"Sorry about that, well is it Edward?" I asked. He nodded. Yes! It's about freaking time I got a damn name.

"Well Edward, I'm glad I finally learned your name" I giggled. He nodded.

"Now, tell me yours" He smiled.

"Bella" I said simply. He nodded.

"It's nice to meet your Bella." He smiled.

"It's nice to meet you too Edward" I giggled again. He smiled at me.

"What's your full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan" I said. His eyes widened.

"I'm dancing with Swan's daughter?" He asked shocked. I groaned and nodded. Why does my daddy have to ruin everything with my men?

"Yes" I said glumly. I felt like a four year old being so immature.

"Well, as long as I don't get shot, I'm cool" He laughed. I smiled. I'm glad he didn't mind my dad had access to tasers, and guns, and handcuffs.

"What's yours?" I asked.

"Edward Anthony Cullen" He smirked. My face dropped. What? Is he kidding me? I've been dancing with him for who knows how long, and he failed to tell me his sister was Alice? You've got to me joking. No wonder Alice was trying to interrupt my dance with him; she was trying to tell me this was her brother Edward; AKA Dumbass.

"Edward!" I said angrily and slapped his shoulder. He laughed harder than he was earlier. This is so not cool.

"I'm sorry, but the look on your face was too funny." He smiled. I however, did not.

"Asshole. Where's your slut? Why'd you dump her?" I asked, challenging him. His face dropped. Yeah, gotcha man.

"Bella, I was going to, but I thought it'd be weird if I took my cousin as my date. I mean, of course I love Tanya as my best friend, but Victoria was my girlfriend, and I told her to dress nicely, and not wear so much makeup, but she did the complete opposite. She gave my family a bad reputation, and me a bad reputation. My family didn't like her, and I was falling out with her. It was time" He shrugged. Well, that explanation made me feel so much better than now! Not!

"Well, I can't say that I'm sorry, because I'm not" I smiled. He laughed again.

"Let me get you a shot of booze. Because we all know that you _love _your booze" He teased. I scowled and rolled my eyes as I stomped on his foot and smiled He winced and smiled painfully.

"How about that alcohol?" I asked sweetly. He nodded and took my hand, laced our fingers together and winked as he dragged me to the bar for my scotch.

Lord knows I was going to need it.

**Just a little thought. The links for dresses, makeup, and tuxs at the bottom. **

**XOXO, Lizzy **

_**Alice dress:**_** http:/www (dot) simplydresses (dot) com/shop/viewitem-PD613086**

_**Makeup:**_**http:/2****(dot)bp(dot)blogspot(dot)com/_B6J6nGs6VwA/TS9dsKaYsDI/AAAAAAAAyTM/uWA3cBi4sfU/s1600/smokey%2Beye_**

_**Shoes**__: _**http:/72(dot)167(dot)41(dot)109/images/amiclubwear/shoes-heels-alena-07blackpu_**

_**Rose dress**__:_ **http:/www(dot)simplydresses(dot)com/shop/viewitem-PD587421**

_**Makeup: **_**http:/farm5(dot)static(dot)flickr(dot)com/4059/4380899184_**

_**Shoes**_**: ****http:/www(dot)stevemadden(dot)com/Item(dot)aspx?id=52361&green=21170359242**

_**Bella Dress:**_ **http:/www(dot)simplydresses(dot)com/shop/viewitem-PD483593 **

_**Makeup: **_**http:/www(dot)paklinks(dot)com/gsmedia/files/61479/navyblue%**

_**Shoes: **_**http:/www(dot)stevemadden(dot)?id=51337&np=127_282-615_628**

**Edward and Emmett suit: http:/robertpattinsonwho(dot) **


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